When I first learned about transformation, it was years ago, back when I was still living in New York. I was invited to attend a seminar by a friend of mine and having the experience with MLM, I was a bit reluctant.
Now at the time, MLM (Multilevel Marketing) was a big thing. There were so many scam type seminars where you were invited by a friend to sit and listen to a person lie about how they left a career as a scientist to sell household products and now live in a multimillion-dollar mansion.
Let it be known for the record, no one makes millions of dollars selling Tide to their friends. This is not the definition of transformation.
When I first got sober, I didn’t realize it then I was at the beginning of my journey of transformation. All I knew is that I had to change my life and my ways of thinking. You see when you’re doing something new, no one really understands what they are looking to attain, other than you’re just following suit like everyone else. I would hear things like, “don’t leave before the miracle happens”, or “take it one day at a time”, all of these antidotes I held on to because I wanted to see how my life was going to really change, even though I still had the desire to drink or even believe I can still do it and control it.
You see, change doesn’t just happen overnight. People think they get into the trend of meditation, yoga and chanting, they somehow believe they have “arrived” after a month of practice.
I hate to say it, all bullshit. Think of Braunwyn from the Real Housewives of Orange County, whom, after 30 days, knew exactly who she is and what she wants for her life.
I hate to say it, utter bullshit.
No one after 30 days knows what they want and what they think is good for them, sober or not.
I want to be clear; transformation isn’t about getting clean and sober. It is a deep-rooted desire for change and the practice is what sets the stage to see the beginnings of that progress towards change.
Social media, over the years, has brought us to a place where we judge our insides from someone’s outsides. I always think of myself if I were thinner again, if I had done things differently, maybe if I know now what I could have used then, things would be different, maybe I would have been successful early on…so on and so forth.
The struggle of feeling as though something is hindering you from being a success now is the fear of the unknown. Why is it we look at others being more of a success than ourselves? Why is it we feel at times, other people look like they are living a fabulous life and maybe we are not.
We are not perfect beings.
Transformation of self doesn’t depend on how many retweets or likes you get.
Transformation is a real and personal change, only you can experience. It’s hard to describe in words when it happens but when it does, there is a beautiful feeling inside of you, and you don’t want it to end.
It isn’t something social media can give you; it isn’t something your best friend can hand over to you and everything will be all right. It truly is a work in progress.
For a long time, I even felt, I wasn’t worthy to be any type of a coach. I questioned if I was good enough. When I have my friends call me needing my assistance with something, the most important thing I do is listen and not interrupt them.
I used to hear a lot in meetings, “listening is an art” and other people used to get mad over that saying because in essence, they weren’t allowing themselves to learn the art of truly listening to someone else. Listening isn’t about jumping in and having all of the answers.
It certainly isn’t about inciting fear to get people to share concerns about your business and then misdirect them into failure. There are people who are like that, because if you’re paying them for that time, they will do and say anything to make sure you continue to pay them.
Sort of like an MLM.
When you experience the transformation, you share that experience with others who also wish to change. Change equals growth. Fear is what keeps you subjected into the same pattern, wishing and hoping one day things will change. Anyone who tells you to do it their way and if it doesn’t work it’s because you are doing it wrong is lying to you.
There’s someone I listen to and one thing he says is “we live in an age of information and ignorance is a choice”.
When I heard those words, I thought of so many scenarios of people just buying into bullshit because they are relying on “experts”, when you can actually find the information yourself.
The one thing I have learned is never ever rely on someone who’s feeding you info unless they have the verbiage to back it up. Show me or shut the fuck up.
Trust comes in many forms and when someone has a real success rate and the roadmap to prove it, only then, is when you make choices on what’s best for you. You’re either going to gear towards what “sounds good” or make favorable choices to begin the change you want to see in your life.
Let's begin your journey today!
Until then. Take care of you.