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What’s in a Spell?

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend on the phone I’ve known for years.

She’s one of the very few people who understands the power of magick, what will and will not work.

As a teenager, upon learning about tarot reading and candle spells, I wanted to believe it was real but wasn’t sure how it worked and how it would benefit me. What were the steps needed to go about candles and spells?

I found out there was a popular local store in the Bronx which sold items for candle work, among other things. Passing it many of times, I wasn’t sure what it was until one day a friend pointed out, this was the store I was told about. I was intrigued, yet afraid. I was very curious to know what were behind the windows of this store, which adorned this corner for many years.

When the day came where I finally worked up the nerve to go inside, it was quite the opposite of what I imagined.

The store had a genuine, yet antique feeling.

The isles were spacious and coordinated for each intentional purpose.

Any oil that wasn’t out on the shelves, you can request your oils of choice in the back area, no questions asked for the purpose or why.

Every time I went, I always felt it was a personal experience with a well-grounded energy.

Granted, while most customers who shop at this store are in their own element, it’s pretty clear, this is a shop who caters to people who are dedicated to their craft. You buy what you need and keep it moving.

As a customer who shops there, I can truly appreciate that.

And while we can all appreciate a supply store to purchase our crafty items, there are people who don’t quite understand how all of this works.

Take for example, a person experiences a situation, which they feel is out of their control.

They search out for means of how to regulate the outcome and discover candle spell work. Having this knowledge, they order supplies in the hopes the spell would work for their bidding.

There are many factors an inexperienced person may not take under consideration.

What if the spell doesn’t work?

What if the spell is done incorrectly?

What if the spell is done with the intent to bind a person to them who may not be meant for them?

Many people who do spells, is to control what they feel is out of control.

In addition, many people will keep repeating the spells in the hopes one will finally take.

So, what’s in a spell and why do we feel the need to do it?

Spells are designed for you to believe you have the power to bend the will of another, especially when it comes to love. When Mick Jagger sang the lyric, “you can’t always get what you want” everyone seems to forget the most important part of the lyrics, “but if you try sometimes…you might find you get what you need”.

In the world of spell work, manifesting your desires refers to the practice of using affirmations, visualization, and other techniques to attract what you are seeking and what you believe will make you happy.

What does that include?


Setting intentions can be a simple daily ritual that doesn’t require lighting candles. It can be as simplistic as having a positive attitude, avoiding negative self-behaviors, as in, “I’ll never find love”.

People who have found repeating positive affirmations has given them a sense of self-esteem, realizing the power to change is within themselves. Practice is the key. If you don’t practice or practice sporadically, you will not achieve the full effects of boosting your self-image.

Positive affirmations also help with mental stability, considering there aren’t any other underlying issues, which may require therapy with a licensed professional.

In addition to the self-esteem, positive affirmations help with relationships around you, be it at work or at home, or even a stranger on the street.

Continued positive affirmations can help you have a better outlook on life as a whole and clarity with problem solving.

Vision Boards

Creating a vision board became extremely popular when the book, The Secret, came out back in the mid-2000s.

Everyone I knew was reading the book but no one really understood the concept of what a vision board meant. It wasn’t a matter of cutting out pictures and inspirational words, gluing them to a board and wait to see if all you put together would just magically happen.

With vision, comes action.

If you want to start a business, what are the required steps to make it happen?

When desiring a better job where your work isn’t appreciated, what are the steps you would take to seek out a new job? What specific aspects of a job will make you happy?

On the flip side, maybe you like your job and have grown within the company. You have been promoted several times but never put in a position you most desire. You may want to talk with your boss about the opportunity for continued growth or propose creating a new position.

Seeking out a life coach can help you learn how to convey your strengths to your boss and how much you have benefited working with the company, meeting goals and exceeding expectations.

Relationships and Spell Work

With relationships, this can be a tricky area.

Finding a fuck buddy, most times can be easy, especially if the other party has the same thing in mind. But not everyone is looking to “sell” their body and continue living in uncommitted relationships.

Before you seek out that person, it’s important to note, manifesting a relationship requires a level of self-love and self-acceptance, as well as an open and positive attitude towards the possibility of a new relationship.

It is important to remember that manifesting love is not a means of manipulating or controlling a specific person. True love should always be mutual and respectful, especially if the other person feels it too.

In any given situation, we can meet someone and have a deep desire for them. We visualize what it would be like to be in a relationship with them and building a family.

But…do we let our fantasies outlive our realities with a specific person in mind, if that person isn’t indicating any interest for a relationship with you.

Relationships are a natural form of getting to know your potential partner. What does that look like?

In a normal world, the patterns are simplistic.

You meet and have a genuine interest for one another. Dating can include lunches and/or dinners. You keep in touch either by phone calls and texting and not specific days or hours, for example, if you only hear from the person on the weekends (red flags). You spend more time together, either cooking dinner, movie night, or just hanging out and talking and intimate activities.

It’s only then, as the relationship takes a natural progression, feelings grow and you find you mutually desire exclusivity as opposed to dating around.

To do spell work on someone who isn’t interested in being your partner and pursuing an exclusive relationship, is unrealistic. Even with the slightest best intentions, most times these spells will not fall in your favor. And if you do a spell on someone to force their hands to be in a relationship with you, what kind of person will they be? Chances are, no where near close what you may have fantasized the relationship will be like.

Because of fantasy versus reality, there’s a good possibility this may not be the person you envision on spending the rest of your life with?

Now you are stuck with a real world issue of having done spell work to force the hand of another person and there isn’t a guarantee reversing it will work.

When people ask me, am I willing to do spell work to break up a couple, so they can have that person, my answer is a flat-out no.

Why is that?

It’s not a matter of a karmatic effect on me, but the moral of why should I take the liberty of taking anyone’s word to tear apart a relationship for their benefit. Who is to assume the person they are pursuing are with the wrong person?

I have seen people doing this on Tiktok with no regard to the person making the request as long as they have the money to pay for it. Does it make it okay? For me, no. For others may not.

Different types of spell work sometimes require more than just lighting a candle. Some are more complex and require more than a day’s work, hence the reason why some prices may be higher than others.

I watch several different tarot readers. Some I enjoy most than others. Others like to share their personal experiences and while I don’t begrudge them for that, it’s the ones who like to put a negative spin on readings or concentrate on negative comments that isn’t for the platform when people are looking for answers.

In addition, as the population of tarot readers grow, you will find some begin their readings on a negative tone, such as, “someone is doing spell work to make you fail”, this is the setting to have that person scam you out of money so they can keep you as a feared customer, sucking you into thinking someone is performing magical harm. Keep in mind a general collective reading, how does the tarot reader know this, even with throwing cards on the table.

This is an irresponsible reading for both on the collective and personal. In addition, this type of reading is to find the person who will buy into this scam to contact the reader and potentially bilking you for money for something which isn’t actually happening. (I talk more about this in my article

It's no different from you asking a reader to please do a spell to gain the interest of a person who’s in a committed relationship, yet that person has no interest in pursuing someone else because they are already involved.

Granted, on the reverse side of the spectrum, if you are involved and need help to move things along and need a clarity type spell, I see no harm in that, due to the fact, you and your person are involved. If there are disadvantages and you need a road opener, there’s nothing wrong with this either.

Again, these are my own personal thoughts.

There are many differences when it comes to spell work and who’s willing to do what. Keep in mind, you are your own person and must do what is best for you. While there may be no consequence for your actions now, what you put out, is what you get back in return.

Be careful what you ask for.

Until then. Take care of you!


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