A very close friend of mine recently text me, asking me to let him know when I watch the Kanye West documentary on Netflix.
Just a note, this isn’t a review of the documentary, but more about what manifesting means, using Kanye West as an example filmed and written by Coodie Simmons with J. Ivy.
Kanye West was born in Atlanta but grew up in Chicago. He dropped out of college to pursue a music career. Having a talent of producing beats with the help of No I.D., he made sure everyone who was anyone would know that talent through his passion.
As I watched, I became very emotional with some parts of the documentary. His mom and that great smile she had, not once telling her son it can’t be done, unlike my mom who made sure to divert every dream I wanted to succeed at reminding me not to do it because it was a waste of time and I probably wouldn’t succeed at it anyway.
To see the disappointment written all over his face when he went to Roc-A-Fella Records offices and began rapping for anyone who would listen even while most didn’t seem interested in listening, Kanye remained headstrong, straying away from being referred to as the person who "created beats" and be taken seriously as a rapper.
Damon Dash, one of the business partners at Roc-A-Fella records, finally took Kanye seriously, by having him sign a record deal.
But even though he had gotten a contract, there were many things amiss, like developing his career, a budget and a timeline to finish the album he had been working on, “The College Dropout”. Instead, it seemed he was passed around to different artists, yet again, to work with them, putting beats for their up coming projects.
One of those projects led him on a trip to L.A. and on his way back to his hotel room, he got into a car accident and broke his jaw in three places, basically putting a pause in his career, and in essence, putting him back into the “beats producer” category.
At least for the time being.
The accident didn’t stop Kanye. His resilience kept him going, as he had a goal to achieve and this accident wasn't going to stop what he set his path out to accomplish. But it seemed the recurring theme that “God” was the one opening doors for him.
Here’s my conflict. If this was the case, wouldn’t a God have the world be a beautiful place where every dream was coming true on a daily basis? There would be no crime, no premature deaths, no pain, no heartache.
Why is it that “some people’s dreams come true and some don’t,” as stated in the movie, “Pretty Woman”, where that street dude was out asking everyone, “what’s your dream?”.
When we are young, our parents talked about we can be whatever we dreamed to be. It’s fun when you’re a child, however, once you begin finding your own journey and realize there are bigger things you want to accomplish, for some parents, they have other, “realistic” dreams for you, like, maybe becoming an attorney as oppose to a tattoo artist, or maybe not the dancing career but becoming an administrative assistant, because it’s more fun sitting down all day, taking shit from your boss than accomplishing your dreams.
At least in the dreams from my mom.
The dictionary definition to manifestation is “the action or fact of showing an abstract idea.”
“So, Marabelle, how does this fit into spirituality or Kanye West?”
In the rise of social media, we have seen many “law of attraction” or “LOA” post and accounts related to this. Many people believe the laws of attraction is manifesting a want or a desire. And no matter how many posts we can scroll through telling us, “If you are seeing this message” or a series of numbers, “you were meant to see” this and “something great will happen”, the reality is, things just don’t manifest because you’re special in that moment or you saw that post.
There’s something Kanye says in episode two, titled “Purpose”, a reporter asked him, “I’m interested in you, why you believed all of this happened?” and Kanye responded, “I just think it was God’s plan”.
This is where I tend to disagree, as I stated from the beginning. If God had a plan, then the world would be a very different place. The politics we see today would be non-existent and the world wouldn’t be a place filled with hate. Just my own personal thoughts.
And while I can’t change the world, I can only change myself, my goals and my own dreams of what I wish to accomplish.
I’m not a little girl anymore and my mom can’t control how I choose to live my life, but it doesn’t stop her from making hurtful comments, which I try not to take to heart but sometimes….you know. That’s my mother after all and even though I try to put out of my head the painful things she says, I can’t lie and say it doesn’t bother me or make me upset. The one person who should be on my side supporting my goals or relationship is 99% not that supportive.
Getting back to the manifestation aspect, while Kanye had a believe it was God’s plan to see the successes he has seen in his life, I’m sure it wasn’t God’s plan to see the drama play out, which is showcased on social media every fucking day.
Anyone who knows me, knew I was not a fan of Kanye West at all. As a matter fact, a few years ago, when Twitter didn’t shadow ban my ass, there were series of tweets and Facebook posts I would put out every time he had something to say and after meeting said friend in 2019, who happens to be a very big fan, changed all of that.
Sure, does me liking this person have something to do with the fact he wanted me to listen despite of my disdain of Mr. West? Of course.
I’m not going to lie, yes, I did make myself open to his musical tastes. Apparently, Kanye West made an impression on him and when you care about someone, you remain open to their ideas or what they like. Being open minded and listening to his suggestions gave me a whole new impression of Kanye West, especially when he suggested I listen to “808s and Heartbreak”.
But watching this documentary, gave me pause about my own life.
Lately, I have been experiencing my own ups and downs of depression. It’s not fun, as a matter of fact, there are days which are darker than others. I have manifested more shit in my head then I’ve actually done in real life.
The last few days have been rather difficult and when I got this message on text a few days ago which I’ll probably respond with the link to this article, I figured, let me just watch this and reply back.
As I watched, it made me think, do I believe everyone has a gift? And what do we do about that gift when we discover it?
Do we nurture it and grow to learn more from it to perfect the craft we have? How do we get more education so we can make money from this gift?
The resources have always been available, but sometimes procrastination can be our biggest enemy and if it’s not that, in my case, depression and for others it may vary. Maybe there’s not enough belief it can be done or perhaps you don’t believe the friends who say they support you.
Our thoughts can be our biggest enemy into making you believe your friends are lying to you.
But we all know, the hate can be very real, even with friends you have known for years as you rise to your own success.
If this is the case, then maybe you should change friends.
The one thing that remains true in the documentary, Coodie stated, sometimes love can turn to hate.
There was something about Coodie’s curiosity, making him want to be a part of Kanye’s journey.
Perhaps he knew deep down inside, Kanye was destined to be this larger-than-life artist. Those are the people you want to be close to. Those are the people you want on your side. And yes, while No I.D. was upset because he wanted that credit, the facts remain, with any friendship, are we friends with someone because we are looking for that credit or are we truly, unconditionally caring about their journey.
Yes, Coodie got kudos, because he learned the art of filmmaking by documentary the journey of Kanye West. But in his own journey, he was blessed to witness the blessings of another.
Within the essence of manifesting our goals, what is more important? Recognizing and acknowledging those who believe in your plight to succeed? Do we push away those who are gunning for our personal best or do we stick with those who can care less because we are looking for validation?
When Kanye West won the Grammy for “The College Dropout”, in his speech he said, someone asked him, “what happens if you don’t win?” and his response was, “I guess we never gonna find out.”
I want to end with this.
While I may not stand with Kanye’s political stance or the other crazy stuff accompanied in recent years, I cannot disrespect the hustle. The one thing we all have, when we are self-employed, or even part time employed while hustling what we truly love to do, as long as we are honest in our journey, we must respect the hustle. Not everyone has it in them. Remember those haters? Yeah, those are the ones sitting back on their computer, using their keyboard as weapons not going any further than that.
As for our goals and dreams, they are as real as we manifest them to become. They are great in our heads or when we take the time to meditate, but the actual work to get there, takes work, which means even when we don’t believe it ourselves, it’s nice to have a cheering section telling you, “You can”. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break, or reevaluating your goals, for as long as you stay on the path, with the right people beside you, you will never fail.
Until then. Take Care of You.