The Comfortability of Self


For the last year, I have been listening and following so many inspirational teachers.

While most can be the recurring theme of the universal law, one of the things I have found really important is not only listening, but incorporating the values these teachers are teaching us.


When I first became sober, I heard a lot about conditioning behavior or planned feelings. I didn’t quite understand what that meant, because my feelings were all over the place. I couldn’t focus on one thing and my anxiety level was at an all-time high.


There were times it was hard for me to even go out. I felt unsafe being alone, yet I couldn’t trust everyone whom I encountered.


Fast forward to my present days, especially during these times, people’s emotions are heightened. No one knows how to act or react if they hear or read something. There are too many people applying their own emotions to what they read, especially on social media.

How we react to someone is the perception we give to the world about ourselves.


Take politics, as an example. This is a big one because not only has everyone become a “political expert”, their apparent expertise doesn’t include public service. As a matter of fact, most of the people who have so much to say on politics, don’t leave their house. And if they do, it’s to complain more, instead of making a difference. Or end up on TikTok, making unacceptable comments and/or assumptions about other people’s lives and ruin their own in the process.


That’s not to say people who don’t actively do public service, doesn’t make them less of an expert, it could mean they do public service in other ways and don’t feel a need to put it on public display because they aren’t narcissistic about the work they do for the betterment of the world, hence the service aspect.


The sad part is there are so many people today battling problems of the world with no real solutions. From prochoice to prolife, who is the real president, John F. Kennedy Jr. coming back, the rabbit hole is deep and insane to say the least.


How does all of this tie in with planned feelings and the perception you give to the world?

The longer I stayed sober, the more I saw myself in others.


If there are parts of myself I didn’t like, I either work on changing that behavior or waste emotions on hating others who reflect the behavior I don’t like. It’s not up to me to change someone so I can feel better about myself. My behavior is my responsibility. The one thing people seem to forget. Just go on Tiktok and type in “Karen” and you will be there all day viewing videos of people yelling, screaming or badgering people as if they have the right to do so.


Thankfully there are people who don’t possess these types of behaviors all day long, but most of them are the ones who are recording the insanity of that moment.


There are people who hate all day long and yeah, sometimes we’re gonna turn around and look at them and say, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”


There are people who are comfortable in their own dissatisfaction for the world or for other people. They seem to believe if the world fixed itself, they would somehow magically get better.

And then there are those who sit in front of the television and deliberately watch things to induce anger and dissatisfaction – only to “prove a point” that nothing is changing and the world will remain stuck in the right, left, whatever the case may be.


What does the laws of attraction teach us?


Change doesn’t begin sitting on a couch.


Change doesn’t happen when you step outside and the parking lot is full but you see an empty handicap parking and say to yourself, “well I’ll be quick”, or “how many handicap people are out they need so much space”.


That’s not for you to worry about. It is a matter of acceptance and respect for others, regardless of how you personally feel about them.


There’s a reason why we have rules set in place, even though people still believe they can break those rules due to their self-righteous and self-centered behavior.


I learned, no one on this earth owes me anything. And if there’s something I don’t like about me, it’s my responsibility to change it.


If I’m in a relationship that doesn’t make me feel good, can I blame my partner? Maybe to an extent, however, am I going to stay miserable or move on?


Staying miserable is an option.


I repeat, staying miserable is an option.


There’s nothing mandatory about staying in misery. There’s nothing in the “rules of the universe” that said, you can stay on your couch and yell at the television about what you think is wrong with the world and one day they will hear me through the television and the world will finally get what I’ve been saying all along.


Cursing and constantly complaining doesn’t give you power.


Yelling at a random person because of their skin color, their faith or cultural background doesn’t change the world or give you power. If anything, views of “go back to your country” is nothing but pure ignorance. Who the fuck is anyone to tell people where to go?


Once upon a time, there was a “time out session” during cartoons called, “School House Rock”.

One I recall, “Great American Melting Pot”, which reflected on the Statue of Liberty (not a gift from Russia people, a gift from France).


People who arrived here, knew they were free to dream and accomplish anything they desired. The Statue of Liberty represented freedom, the ability to achieve your goals and visions. The freedom to educate yourself. Think of how many countries, right now, in 2022, who still do not allow women to be educated.


Sadly, during the course of evolution and technology, we seemed to have lost that side of us. The side of welcoming those who may be uncertain of where their future lies and how we can help those accomplish their dreams through education and direction.

Where did that part of us go?

Yes, we know hate exist because we have a history which details the accounts, from murders to segregation, all because of skin color. How sad these hateful people are. We see people making fake accounts, trolls, as they are recognized, who like to bust in and make comments behind a computer, thinking their anonymity is protecting them and it really isn’t. They believe they have the upper hand in someone’s life but they don’t.


Think about it. To absorb that negative energy every day sure takes a lot of work.

This isn’t about love vs hate or evil vs good. This is about the wisdom to know the difference. The wisdom to choose your battles wisely.


If your battle is to watch things on television that provokes your anger, then it’s time to make a change, and get out from the rut you have created for yourself, day in and day out – planned feelings.


If you are a prochoice person, then have a real answer about anyone who chooses to get an abortion because you’re not saving a life, if you aren’t thinking about the future of that unborn child and how you wish to be a part of making a better life for that child. Forget about getting diapers, that’s just an expense, making a difference is more than just getting the expendables a child needs in order to be taken care of.


The fear of the unknown isn’t as scary as one may think. Life is about discovery and once we get stuck in an area because we get comfortable subjecting ourselves to recognizable feelings, we stop the process of discovery. We are no longer trying to be better, on the contrary, we are making a choice to be miserable and feel hopeless and dragging anyone who is in your presence for the ride.


Ask yourself why.


I have seen and spoken with people one to one who have felt stuck, recognize they are stuck, but yet stay in the stuck, because that’s all they know. To be “unstuck” is to practice day to day, not to do the things that will create feelings of being angry, feeling miserable, feeling hopeless.

We are the most imperfect, perfect humans.


I say that because if you really pay attention to the people around you, they love you unconditionally. They see you as you are, beautiful and perfect, even if you don’t feel that way about yourself. We have qualities they see in us immediately, sometimes, we don’t even see in ourselves.


It’s there, trust me.


With visualization comes success, but...that success doesn’t happen without action.

If you are interested in realizing your visualization, schedule an appointment with me and we can begin your journey to your goals.


Until then. Take Care of You.