When I first experienced sobriety, I wasn't sure where I was going. I was in my very early twenties and some people would say in my 12 Step meetings, getting clean and sober at that young of an age was unheard of.
Be it as it may, I experienced levels of confusion and anger. I wasn't sure what direction I was going, who I wanted to be and what I wished to accomplished.
In 12 Step fellowships, you are taught not to make any hasty decisions and take it one day at time. As I followed the "trend" making 90 meetings and 90 days, I was just buying my time to go out and drink again. At that time in my life, I had no desire to remain clean and was going to teach myself to "drink responsibly".
Some people may be able to do that, but for me, I had a rude awakening when I decided to visit my old "stomping grounds" and let everyone know I was clean and sober, somehow thinking, I can lead everyone else to do the same. Going back there, first and foremost was a dangerous choice and anyone first getting clean is advised to stay away from people, places and things. Having making that choice, the one person I relied on took me to a park, showing me the life these people are living out in the street. For the first time I realized, I am an addict and in order for me to recover I had to abstain from any mood or mind altering chemical, and that included alcohol.
The last time I saw him, he walked me over to the train, telling me to never come back there again. I know he said that for my own good. But before I left he asked me if they still say that prayer at the meetings, and I said, "the serenity prayer", he said yes, and together we said it. He smiled at me as the train pulled in to the station and that was the last time I saw him. It was only then, the realization, he knew about the 12 Step fellowship too, but he chose to stay where he was because he wasn't ready to get clean.
For people it takes a tragic experience to realize in order to create change, they must put into action the changes they wish to see and desire. And while that day I didn't experience a "deathly" tragedy, what transpired in that moment was something that was said over and over in the fellowship, "this is for people who want it, not for people who need it".
It took me a long time to see that difference, but to accept it was even more painful.
No, I could not save anyone who didn't want to stay clean. And in making meetings, learning about myself, going to therapy, practicing meditation, reading literature in how to improve myself, was the beginning of a journey that continues today.
My friends have always told me, with my experience I should be out and about helping others with coaching and life transformation. With almost 30 years sober, my studies and education, my meditation practice, I'm ready to share with you in how to open doors you never thought could be. How to recharge your thinking, change your attitude and steps in how to make these changes.
When you begin the journey to transformation, you will become the person you are destined to be.
I'm looking forward to working with you.